Letting go……

If you’ve started to sing the lyrics from the Disney hit song ‘Let it go”, it’s completely OK.

And if you’ve extended your arms into the empty space around you, as you spontaneously belted the words, “Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door, I don’t care what they’re going to say..” that’s a.o.k too.

It’s hard not to get pulled into those words and really feel it through your heart. The words are simple, yet the message is categorically complex.

Especially this line…..”I don’t care what they’re going to say.”

Awwwww, if only hey.

Like many people, I’ve been devouring books lately. Perhaps it’s a byproduct of a pandemic. A welcomed consequence, all the same. Instead of my typical fiction choices, I have stretched my reading list to include some non-fiction, dare I say ‘self-help’ books that have imprinted a new way of thinking and have shaken loose some out-dated and useless limiting beliefs that unknowingly have been weighing me down and holding me back. Books and audio lessons on topics such as; Confidence, Paradigm shifts, Sales Mindset, Prioritizing High-Value Tasks/Time Management strategies, Enlightenment, etc…have filled my reading list these past few months. And yes, I have discovered the joy of audiobooks, especially Rachel Hollis’s audiobook, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” while driving. And as a bonus, it’s free from my library.

Throughout this process of learning and dare I also say ‘self-discovery’, I have adopted a new mantra, “Let it go”.

The lesson of ‘letting go’ holds true in so many areas of my life. I’m curious if any of this rings true in your life as well.

Letting go of limiting beliefs.

What if I fail?

Big one.

What if I embarrass myself?

Another biggie.

I don’t have the right education to pursue that?

Fear. Fear. Fear.

These beliefs serve no purpose. It all stems from fear. Fears manifested into beliefs, designed only to hold us back.

These beliefs are equivalent to mental bullies. They steal, they poke, they prod, they nag. They hold us back from reaching our full potential. It’s the never-ending chatter in our heads. It robs us from dreaming and daring big.

Not any more.

I’m re-framing my ‘What ifs’.

What if…..I succeed?

What if…..I make a positive difference in someone’s life?

What if…..I discover a whole new level of happiness and personal fulfillment?

Letting go of self doubts.

Those nagging, empty, false, and arbitrary doubts that follow in our shadow and dull our light. I’m not good enough? Someone is doing it already, and they are better than me? Why bother, no one really cares anyway? I’m too old to start that?

Yes. Those self doubts.

Layers and layers of doubt accumulated and settled on my heart. Empty – yet incredibly noisy – excuses.

Guess what, someone is and always will be better at it than me. So what. We are a globe of 7.8 billion, surely there’s enough room for this ‘party of 1’ to squeeze in with my ideas, my dreams, my goals, and my pursuits.

So, when I hear self-doubt creep in, I’m claiming it, balling it up, and tossing it – not so gently – in the trash. Right there, right where it belongs with the other stack of limiting beliefs that are garbage as well.

Here’s a little lesson I hold dear that helps me tear down the ‘I’m too old for that’ self-doubt. As my dad says, “You’re always just in time.” Yup, wise words from a wise soul. Thank you, papa.

Letting go…..of wasted energy.

I’ve just read a life-changing book called, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. It’s a New York Times bestseller, and for good reason. It’s raw, and it may cause some unsettling along the way, but I honestly believe it was written to do just that. Unsettling requires rebuilding.

This book has completely re-framed (I guess unsettled and rebuilt) how I choose to ‘show up’ in my life. There are many lessons to be learned within the 181 pages, but here is just one lesson that has left a lasting impression on me and solidifies my new commitment of ‘Letting go’.

Singer says that each of us has constructed our own design – a template if you will – of how we think the world should be, how people should act in this world. It’s this preconceived notion that people should behave in such a way that fits this perfectly constructed visual frame of the way ‘we believe’ is the right way. It’s moulded and shaped over time. In its simplicity, it is the belief that if someone acts in a way that’s outside of our prescribed templated design of how we think they should behave, it disturbs us. It often happens without giving it a single conscious thought. We internalize it and give it (the event that is happening) our energy and attention.

Why? Why do we do that? Why do we, in that moment, for that particular event, make it about us?

Example…..Why did I care so much when a man parked along the curb at a storefront, instead of moving 20 feet into the parking lot? Doesn’t he realize (and care) that he’s blocking one of the lanes and affecting the flow of traffic? Why is he so selfish? Why can’t he just park in the parking lot, like he is supposed to? If people don’t follow the rules there will be complete anarchy.

Yes, I said that. Out loud.

Brain – ‘Seriously Nicole. I hardly think this little parking faux pas qualifies as anarchy.’

Hmmmmmm.

Meanwhile, I’ve parked in the parking lot and entered and exited the store, without issue or negative impact on me. But yet, I was so amped up and upset that this person blatantly blocked off the lane, and just casually sat in his car while their passenger was in the store. Like, what is wrong with him? With people?

Hmmmmmmm.

Yeah. Not my finest moment. In the words (and voice) of Puss-n-Boots from Shrek, “I have shamed myself.” Kidding, not kidding.

Why did I get so worked up over that? I allowed his actions to disturb me, and get me all riled up. It had absolutely no impact on me and very little for anyone around me. There was no sign that indicated no stopping. Cars simply went around him in sequence, albeit slower than they would have if he wasn’t parked there. So what. It was one tiny little event in time as I continue to spin on this massive globe in the middle of an infinite and expansive universe.

Holy heck. Epic silliness. Epic waste of energy.

I allowed that event to disturb me simply because he did not fit into the design of the way I think people should act. It’s so silly. I’m a little embarrassed to even share that example here, but I wanted to share as an example we likely all relate to. The energy shift that happened within me at that moment served absolutely no purpose. It was 100% wasted energy, and time in my life that I will never get back. Oh yeah, and it completely soured my mood, which undoubtedly also impacted my companion (my dad, who I will share actually said the words ‘let it go’ to me at that moment. Yup, he did. I told you he was wise.) I just wasn’t ready to hear it back then.

Now…..I totally, completely, and wholeheartedly. Get. It.

After all, this man was just a stranger in his car parked along the curb impeding the ease of traffic flow for all of, maybe 5 minutes. At that moment, I completely shifted my energy towards him and let him and his choice of parking impress upon me and disturb me. My response changed nothing about the event. It still happened. What an absolute waste of time and energy.

So, so, so silly of me. Ridiculous really.

And that’s just one example. I’m sure many of us can easily rhyme off dozens of examples like this where we see something that doesn’t fit into our design of how the world ‘should be’, and we react in a similar way. As I write this, I am literally fighting the urge to keep sharing an endless diatribe of petty examples of energy disturbances I’ve had. So, clearly I am a work in progress here. Full disclosure.

I don’t mean this to say that I am apathetic and completely numb to events happening around. If someone is breaking the law and or hurting others, you can guarantee my empathetic self will react. Choosing which events ‘justify’ my attention and energy is absolutely critical to serving my “Letting Go”

From now on, I am choosing to ‘let it go’.

I am letting go of limiting beliefs.

Letting go of self doubt.

Letting go of negative energy suckers.

I know it won’t just magically happen overnight. But I choose to try my very best. Let the paradigm shift begin.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Does any of this resonate with you? Stir you up? Please share.

With much and continued gratitude,