The gift of being a twin.

As the story goes, my mom and dad were only expecting one baby.

That’s right, one baby.

This one baby coincided with the one heartbeat that was picked up on the ultrasound for the entire duration of my mom’s pregnancy.

Surprise, two babies. Identical twin girls, 10 minutes apart. Baby A – Natalie, and Baby B – Nicole.

Fun twin fact: The average time between delivering the first and second twin is 17 minutes.

When my dad called my aunts to tell them of baby Smith’s birth, he was so overwhelmed by the dramatic shift in the quantity that he only shared, “There’s two. There’s two of them,” and in all the excitement, he completely forgot to tell them it’s a girl. Scatch that. Girls.

That was almost 46 (now 47) years ago.

It’s safe to say, with all the medical and technological advancements, the days of multiple birth surprises are long gone. Let’s hope so anyway.

Being an identical twin is a gift.

Beyond its rareness – less than 1% of the population is an identical twin – it’s a gift that is forever. It knows no limits and knows no bounds.

Built-in best friend.

A twin has an inherent advantage of having a built-in best friend. We are a duo, a package of two.

Moving to a new school – no problem. I already have a best friend and she travels with me. As a twin, I’ve never had to experience that awkward and terrifying moment of being the only new kid. I had a built-in buddy, and we were new together.

Fun twin fact: Forty percent of twins invent their own languages. This is called “cryptophasia”, and only they can understand what is being said.

Patience, patience, patience.

Usually, the gifts that are given to twins in childhood are exactly the same. The gift is usually wrapped the same – the box is the same shape and size – an outward disclosure of its contents sameness.

As a twin – at our birthday party – we unwrap our present at the exact same time. Edge by edge. Piece by piece. The grand reveal must happen at precisely the same moment. It’s an art form. A learned skill. A lesson and immediate test in patience. Mastered over time.

As twins, you wait for each other. You travel together. Although one may threaten to leave without the other, the threat never earns any credence.

That would break the twin code.

A big fat no-no.

Fun fact: The term “twin” derives from the ancient German word “twine” meaning “two together”.

Sharing is caring.

Twins know how to share. It’s an equally innate and honed skill. Simply coexisting in our mother’s womb requires it. I’m sure my foot was nestled in my sister’s face more than once during our gestational journey. My sister has a scar to prove it.

Like many twins, my sister and I shared a bedroom for most of our childhood and youth. Most of the time we settled in a took claim of our individual zones within the shared space. On a few occasions, irrational thinking took hold and the outcome of a failed negotiation resulted in one twin staking claim of the side of the bedroom with the door, and the other twin by default got the window. Herein lies the dilemma. I did say, irrational. I don’t recall how long this territorial standoff of ours lasted, but I do recall the resolution came only after we threw each others’ clothes out the window.

Luckily for us (and our parents), these standoffs were few and far between. We know how to share, it’s part of our DNA.

I would give my sister anything now. No argument. No complaint.

Fun twin fact: Identical twins have DNA that is 99.9% the same. They also have almost nearly identical brain wave patterns. But they do have different fingerprints and teeth marks!

Judgement free zone.

My twin knows all my secrets. My fears. My doubts. My dreams.

Everything that makes me who I am, she knows. And there is never any judgement. We can be our most authentic and vulnerable selves with each other and there is no fear of judgement.

She holds me accountable and is often the gentle nudge I need in the right direction, but will never pass judgement. This is truly a gift.

comparison by nature.

Twins are constantly compared. It’s just how it is. One twin will inevitability be the prettier one. One twin is the smarter one. One twin is the thinner one. One twin is the funnier one. One twin is the more outgoing one. And on and on.

It just is.

We learn early on in life to just go with it. Self-esteem is built and jealousy has no place in this relationship. Only love exists here.

We celebrate each other’s gifts and honour each other’s individuality.

And the bond only grows. How lucky are we to learn this early on in life.

Fun twin fact: Polar bears most commonly birth twins.

Rise and fall together.

Teenage twins have an unspoken commitment to obey (or disobey) curfew together. We know it would be a far worse crime for one to arrive home without the other. We were equally united in our cause, willing to sacrifice oneself for the other.

This approach to life has served us well our whole lives. We are each other’s greatest cheerleaders. We have been witness to each other’s lows and celebrated each other’s greatest triumphs.

Side by side, we’ve been to the top of the mountain, and to the deepest valley. Metaphorically.

Always together.

Fun twin fact: Although left-handedness only occurs in about 10% of the population, about 17% of twins are born left-handed. 

Forgiveness.

Twins have an uncanny ability to be raging mad at each other one moment and become an impromptu party of two in a giggling fit in the next moment. Petty conflicts don’t stand a chance against a set of twins in a giggle fit. Not a chance.

For some reason conflicts are quickly resolved as if an unspoken and shared desire to not waste any time or energy on a silly little argument. Somehow we know it will be get resolved. So why not just do it sooner rather than later. Grudges and pettiness don’t belong. We know how to just get on with the fullness and funness of living life.

Being a twin is a gift. My twin sister is a gift.

An immeasurable gift.

It knows no limits and has no bounds.

It is forever.

With gratitude, always